No. 315 Where are all the flowers?

Ok, so i'm in my room, with headphones on, listening to John Mayer, all being sappy and sentimental and sads, whatever, it's gloomy outside, I slept for a long long time, and where are the flowers, outside in the living room, two sets, yea, ultra luxurious right, well apparently, not me, but other people have taken flowers out of the lobby of my building, yes, I witnessed this, they like take the whole thing out, these giant bouquets and put them into plastic bags and haul them to their car-um, what the hell, though a good idea though, it sure saves time arranging, something that I have never mastered, yea, I just don't get it and honestly I have better things to do with my time instead of being in a stark room with colorful flowers deciding where they should go in a vase, whatever, obviously i'm not being a florist, and yea, sure some people might find it gratifying, but I don't, especially if they're in public and for everyone and someone just takes them, short of the vase, ugh whatever.

But yea, so I don't know what i'm suppose to do today, my instincts should be to go hang out with my friends, but people are coming over, and it kind of breaks my heart, because I hear my dad laughing and talking, and he hasn't laughed like that since a really long time, not in that sense that he is miserable and in suffering in pain, but the fact that the last time I remembered him laughing like that was with his brother, who now doesn't have the time of day to talk to him, not in that horrible way, that they aren't talking, but in that sense that their lives aren't on the same page anymore, it kind of breaks my heart since I mean, they live relatively close etc, but whatever, our family wasn't one of those families that got together adn totally just hung out and chilled like in The Family Stone regardless of who was gay and who wasn't and who had issues and who was the loser kid etc, no, my family was like Sarah Jessica's Parker's, "WHAT, HE'S GAY" followed by a "WHAT, YOU WENT TO COLLEGE AND YOU AREN"T DOING ANYTHING WITH YOUR LIFE" followed by a "WHAT, TWO ASIAN PEOPLE GET DIVORCED" Yea, despite what the austerior says, my parents are pretty damn republican liberal, they're liberal in that sense that yea tehy aren't traditional and drink like 3 cups of coffee a day, read 3 English newspapers followed by 1 Chinese newspaper and still watch the news-Chinese and English, but then you say, two Asian people get divorced-they're like, "are there people like that" as in they don't believe it, so like apparently, Asian people aren't gay, don't get divorced and they aren't suppose to be losers-because my parents don't know losers ableit me, and we're not even going to get into that, I was a loser once I was conceived-why, because i'm a girl, and regardless of what they say about how their parents, my grandparents wouldn't care, and blah blah blah, let's get real, they all know and so do I, that's why i think it's better that I didnt' meet them, who wants a girl anyways? Ugh issues, but wahtever, I don't even know why i'm doing this, maybe because I was watching MTV2 and Chingy was showing us his impala that didn't have car door handles and he'd says he rides around in whatever town he's from with his homies and I realize that I don't do that, not anymore, I don't do things that normal people do, like the amount of time it takes me to get anywhere is like 5 songs max, I don't ride around, I don't "cruise" maybe that's what I'm missing, the simple things in life you know, chilling and hanging out with people, screw the tiem management stuff, honestly, sometimes life isn't about being efficient, it's like you have to learn when to be efficient and when to be "loungey" and my new rule is that i'm not wearing any form of business attire on the weekend, and if I feel like waering lounge wear for the whole weekend-then dammit I will, unless it's to some place nice i'll make an acception-but it's all dresses without hosiery, yea, I refuse to be uptight...now, "Do they drive like that in Tiananmen Square, Bitch?" -Ari Gold, so unappropriate in so many ways, but the best line ever next to his "let's hug it out bitch!"