No. 267

Overtly Overwhelmed

Freaking out quietly and will about to break down-just waiting for the moment. So, issues today are standard and will they ever go away right? Money issues-I have it, but constantly freak out that one day I won't, such as if Kerry makes me pay higher taxes-I won't, sole reason why I don't like Kerry. Yea, he has all the money in the world and it doesn't matter because his worth can feed him and his great grand children forever and buy them Louis Vuitton, mine apparently doesn't work that way. Freaking out about law school, I realize UW is kind of a reach-more like i'm on top of the roof of the tallest building dangling down and have just one finger holding me up. Also realize that other schools will accept me hopefully, minus the fact that i'm not 28-which means I don't have like 10 years work experience nor do I have a stellar GPA and I think the LSAT I may do well-or at least I can because you can study and get better versus the SATs you can't-thank god. Freaking out about little things like how am I going to get to school-I have to take the bus, the house, paying bills, random things. As of right now, me getting fatter is not a problem at all regardless of all the people that tell me this. So, i'm freaking about mainly about Money and my GPA. I also got the books for getting into law school and all that good stuff-making me freaked out. Before, I was just reading random things and totally enjoying myself. Everyone tells me i'm lucky and I don't have any pressure. You know that saying where they say that the only enemy is yourself. That's it, it's really true. I don't let others get to me, I do, but not in that life shattering way, but my own worst enemy is myself. It really freaks me out, I mean, if I don't get into law school-am I going to graduate school. I'm sure I could go to law school later in life-that would be weird and maybe mildly fun, but what I realized is that it's even harder to get into I think. I mean, the competition has raised significantly because it'll be higher numbers and higher tuition and higher everything. Lots of pressure, not by anyone else, but myself. I haven't broken out the yoga yet-maybe I should, but I mean, seriously that whole free and clear mind is so hard nowadays. Oh yea, and did I mention that when I turn 21-this year, I will not be drinking, but instead, studying to get 4.0 in all my classes. Yes, how excited I am, and college is suppose to be a fun time-says who, well for those people who don't intend to go to any other schooling after ugrad.