No. 265

My thoughts: LL Cool J, Michael Jackson, John Heffron, and I guess the problem I have with my extended family-no fancy schmacy word for that.

Ok, LL's new song...what's up with that and hello are we hinting at a facelift. For ages i've always said that Asian popstars do that face lift thing or whatever, my mom disagrees, my question is why do 43 year old men try to pay 20-something year old boys in movies when clearly they are 43, but have faces like 20 year olds. So, LL looking fine and I mean, what's up with the videos-really video-ho esque I may say as one of the industries like to call them, but then it changed to video models. This time, it just looks dirrty, yea with an extra r. LL looks great, but I mean, after a while, don't you just wanna like be lounging around talking to girls in more clothing, how many years can you do that right, but yea, LL looking good, just like some other actors and singers who apparently are lacking crows feet nowadays unlike before...

Michael Michael Michael or should I say Peter Pan. Dude doesn't look like a lady, but dude is starting to resemble Peter Pan, before in that infamous mug shot-I thought he looked like a duck, but now, he looks like Peter Pan and I kind of get it, Neverland Ranch, the love for all things Peter Pan, and I wonder why people don't point that out, they just said, oh look at his nose, my thing is like, ok, if he starts wearing green, it's definitely the end of time for Michael, next time, he'll somehow reinvent the Peter Pan ensemble with Donatella or something.

I was just reflecting back on my life and how i've always been kind of unhappy recently, well more like in college. I've read this one short story about a black man who went to college and the white folks totally changed them for the worse and I realized, my god, college does do that. It really isn't the time of my life truthfully, I mean sure i'm independent, but that means my underwear has a greater possibility of coming out pink when it's suppose to be white, I have a great possibility of missing class since I have to forge my way, and no one feeds you balanced diets. I also realize that college is expensive, regardless, I mentally tally up how many cars I could have bought and what kind of cars I could have bought and whether it was new or used. I've also had this new perspective in life-not necessary a positive one, but one that makes me see things differently, mostly negative, I see how people interact with me and how they treat me. Personally, I am unbiased towards 90% of the people I meet and now and I treat them all the same given of course my parents I may be nicer or meaner-never know, but yea, I realized people don't extend that same gratuity towards me and it kind of makes me sad, and sometimes they don't extend that same gratuity towards my parents-which makes me angry, but in a way, I lucked out, because i've got the best everything in my immediate life while others have to extend to other area to find what I've found so close...

Speaking of cars and mentally tallying them up...today there was an accident. I myself try not to look, but it's always so difficult, I don't know why I do it, but I do...so I did, seeing a semi mangled Ford Escort with a guy on the right passenger side totally ok and comforting a girl in the right passenger upfront area, bleeding sort of-well more from the neck even though she had a giant bandage on-totally freeked me out, my thing is that um...only firefighters were there, the ambulance I think was stuck back there, and um the people outside of the car were ok and just talking lightly, but what really freaked me out was the girls hand, like it often is when kinds are paralyzed-that's what it looked like-really scary. No real damage to any cars, there was one of those forester things or whatever in front-red and then up a ways was a Suburban pulling a racing porsche-yea expensive off road crash if the guy even did crash it-didn't, but I wonder what happened, maybe the suburban guy was making a turn and somehow nicked the other car-I really couldn't tell what happened truthfully, it was one of those puzzles, but one girl had major injuries with blood and that's all I can remember, which brings me to the point, regardless, from now on, I will always buy a safe car and i'm not just talking about a Volvo, more like i'm buying a car with at least 6 airbags and my god, if I had to die in a car, I want a lower risk and I want to be comfortable, so my life lesson here is that I rather live in a small ass apartment, but try a 6 airbag car so I won't die unpredictably. What also is another life lesson of mine is the amazement I felt when after cars slowly left the accident sight, they were seen speeding away-not in that suppposed good range of 60 miles an hour, but faster, and I was thinking, what's wrong with you people, did you not see the accident, are you still James Bond...retribution is only to come...