No. 254

This may be a breakthrough, i'm blogging again...

Confessions...

Usher to a dear confidant. I watch the Real World, I watch mostly anything MTV shoves at me besides those plastic surgery sawing off someone's nose stuff, but yea, so i'm watching Real World with the cameo of Dr. Drew. This is the one where Frankie is a cutter. So, I mean, we all know it happens, we've all read about it, myself probably in Teen People back in the day when apparently grunge was in, cutting was what people did and no one had an affinity for any boyband, not even New Edition. As i'm watching this, an awkwardness ensues, not because it's about cutting, but apparently, someone is a burner, or whatever you call those people, it's not even those people, it's a person who burns her or himself intentionally to inflict pain on themselves. Ok, so I mean, I always thought about myself as a weak person that somehow surmises through the tough shit in my life, I mean, I just play mental games with myself and one day I beat that demon inside me, I mean, no times has it resorted to any violence or anything, I mean, i've kept it within my bubble, but I realize some people can't do this, also I mean I have this problem with pain-I can't rip off a bandaid without squirming... but so speaking of burners. It's like there are so much stuff people don't know about each other, therefore going into my overtly redundant theme that I am still stuck on is that no one can judge. Seriously, I think this girl is tough ass, but I mean, what can you say, people deal with pain differently, it doesn't change my ideas or ideals of her, but it just in a way shocks me because I wasn't expecting it.

it's like if Usher says in Confessions, he doesn' t know what to do, besides the fact he's talking about having a illegit kid with some girl other then the gf, I mean, yea... but I don't know what to say or do and you know what I didn't say or do anything, in a way, it's not me that needs to intervene, I mean it's that person right, sure I can help, but you can only help yourself and no one can help you. It's just the way life is.

Speaking of Usher and random other artists, is it me or has TV gone way into XXX mode. Seriously, as i'm watching Best Week Ever, they're talking about Brit's Touch of My Hand and constantly saying masturbation etc, and i'm like ok, people watch this, like kids watch this, what the hell, and when did it make it ok for Teen People to have shirtless male twins in their mag. Seriously, what has the world come to, and I mean Usher has this sexually explicit song complete with the "sounds" as well, and i'm thinking to myself, it's a perfect "making love song" that really dirrty, yet i'm like, ok, are the sounds necessary and I mean, there is not "explicit" thing on the cd, so i'm thinking, omg, what if little girls are listening to this, because clearly he's not talking about touching his mike and that's all I gotsa say.