No. 105

I guess I don't value my appearance that much.

So the day went like this, I won't up at 6:30 and did all my stuff, I went to the bathroom around 10ish and then finally what I realized during lunch around 11ish was that my purple shirt was in fact, discolored by bleach! Yes, it took me about 5 hours to realize this. I mean, I looked in the mirror before school and during the bathroom break, did I realize-no. I'm such a loser. That's probably why i'm not able to be really skinny, I don't really value my appearance to be obsesssive compulsive about it. I mean, there wasn't much I could do, but it really shocked me that it took me 5 hours to realize this. Yes, i'm a loser. I pity the girls who think that they can lose another 15 pounds when they don't workout and eat unhealthily or at least they eat all carbs and nothing but carbs. Trust me, there are girls out there.

Dictionary Man Really Pisses ME off.

Not the fact that he's still in love with Jennie-O Turkey, but it's more the fact that he claims to be our friends, yet he isn't. I mean, when Jennie-O isn't there, he'll go away and be all frantic trying to look for her, but when she's there, he's all over her. I mean, i'm definitely not jealous of it, seriously, I really like to keep a low profile and I don't believe that hogging up the whole hallway while being flung over someone's back and having the teacher come out and say that you're too old is keeping a low profile. The fact that he's deeply religious gets me too. I swear, there's this church by the corner of this intersection, all the people who scurry to church don't even stop at the stop sign, but just turn and don't even signal too and they SPEED TOO. You think deeply religious people or people who go to church would be all law abiding and true to themselves and people. I just don't get it. I mean you think people who believe in god or whatever would be a little more true and proper. I guess i'm the only one out there, and I don't go to church or anything, and as my family says, under religion: i'm listed as "none." It just pisses me off, I mean dear god, but you know what, when we're all away to college, there will be two scenarios that will play out and neither will piss me off. He'll either follow Jennie-O to community college OR he'll either be left friendless, which he so deserves because he lacks the social skills to make friends just like his sister. We were walking side by side even though she didn't want to say hi to me, so I didn't either. She cuts in front of me and practically crashes in to me, this is it, after all the times i've tried to avoid people, it's over, mean Lisa will be tormenting the halls from now on. Whoever tries to get in MY way or pushes by, they'll just get pushed back, they have no respect for me, and they'll receive the same, and if I remember the person, i'll probably just push 'em back just for the hell of seeing them squirm.

Swimming...

I'm going to swim tomorrow. Thouroughly excited, but I broke my goggles. Yes, I was trying on my fave and only pair of goggles that are purple from Speedo, and I broke them. How sad is that. Well, I haven't swam for a long time, so I believe the chlorine from the goggles may have rusted them therefore making the rubber break. Also, I have this nifty swim gap and I quite enjoy it too. It definitely beats the horrors of putting ones hair up with a hair holder. I was checking out swim suits right, also I realize that I might be able to pull off a tankini. Ok, i'm not going to wear a bikini, it's just not happening, i'm too fat to do it. I mean, i'll probably buy a top just for one of those days when I happen to wear that and some wrap thing, but I don't think I can do it. I mean, i've at least eliminated my lower stomach thank god, therefore when I actually wear a swimsuit, I don't have anything protruding from it. That at least makes me joyous. Swimming-thouroughly excited, I just hope I enjoy it. The only thing I hate is having to shave all the time. It's a hassle, but i'm too wimpy to do the whole waxing thing, it's totally not occuring. Also, found some lovely tankinis as well as normal suits along with some J.Crew things, but i'm not sure J.Crew is world reknown for their suits you know, I mean yea, they're all able to mix and match, but is the Lycra good enough for all of you guys who comprehend!?!

Goddess_333