No. 98

I've come to the conclusion of this after my shower today. I am respected and I am old, when I saw old I normally say it jokingly such as my body is detoriating type of deal, but really when I think about it, i'm old in the eyes of society's people. Let's start with:

Age:

People think i'm a lot older than I am. I'm 18 and I've never been carded for a R movie. There was this one time when I was a sophomore and some lady at the Stila counter though I was a college student. There was the time when I went to go call old people to tell them to vote for the school levy and the guy thought I was going to some random building, when he was suppose to direct high school kids up to the right floor. There's probably more, but I can't think of any that really spring to mind.

Respect:

How I get it, it's odd, I just do. Partially probably because i'm easy going and not that hard to get alone with. That's the only reason why, I mean, I don't quite get it, every man not boy or guy, every man manages to hold the door open for me, I don't quite get why, but they do, and I totally thank them for me. Every time I drive my mom's old lady benz, I always get the right away first, even though that person got there first, except when you run into one of those drivers who are so amp about getting to the next stop light really fast then using their ABS breaks to help them stop in the middle of the intersection. Those people don't usually give me the right away but... even pedestrians give me the right away, even with those rambutious dogs all yapping to go to the park. It's so odd, seriously, maybe it's because I look older, most people can't tell the age of Chinese people, and buddha, I really don't know. Today, it was so weird, two people held the door for me open, and not like because I knew a girl was there, but it was more like, "oh hello, please go first type of deal..." not to mention that one of them was not only a man, but a guy. Quite shocking eh? Also what's really odd, I don't know, this may be a tangent, but I really don't get bad gifts. It's like when the knowing of when getting Lisa a gift, it must be good, I mean I think I give pretty good gifts, in the sense that most gifts are more than one thing, they follow a theme, and I totally know the person will use it. I'm so puzzled right now about the whole age/respect thing! Oh dear, with brings to mind my gift from Bee. It's so cute, for the first time in my life, I actually want it to rain so I can use it, it's an umbrella from Paul Frank. It's so cute, and it even says Paul Frank is you're friend. God, I've dreamnt about getting Paul Frank, Roxy type of brand type of things, but I never bring myself to buy anything. It's so weird, it's like the same complex I have with parfume. All I have to say about age/respect is it's nice to get it. I mean at least I know that I won't be made fun of from underclassman if I ever walked down the hill and at least I know that I'll never be taken as some child like some of my friends appear to be, I don't quite understand, with me they were all totally normal I guess one could say, but when they're away from me and haven't been congrugating with me, it seems they're total children. What's up with that huh?

Wisdom

You know how everyone always says they're totally stupid in high school and they actually realize that they were smarter in future years or the years they living now. You know how they always say that when you're in high school, you're automatically stupid because you haven't lived. Well, I don't know what's the deal, maybe my ego is so huge that I automatically deem myself as pretty damn smart in many senses, I don't know. I mean I was thinking about it, and I basically think i'm how can I put this in some none ghetto way, I can't, I think i'm "da shit." Not as in like I can get any guy I want and all that materialistic stuff, but more like i've actually realized what life is and how to sorta live it. I've realized my limits and my goals and what's truly important. Stuff that relates to life, not just like, I think i'm so cool because I wear things that people in middle class America only get to dream about. That also may be ther eason why I personally think i'm pretty damn cool and well off. It also strikes me quite odd, how some people need symbols and some don't. This may be tangent, but I'm not call it one, it's just called a disgression. Ok, so I was at my parent's dinner party thing and I'm totally looking around. I can spot a Rolex any time of the day anywhere right. Well, out of a table of 10, there were two tables of 10, in my table, I only realized that 2 people wore Rolexes. I mean, normally for the Chinese it's like the universal symbol for "i've made it..." Well, I mean I know very well that everyone at the table can afford it, practically everyone at the table owns a benz, it's quite appalling I might say, but they don't invest in fine watches. I don't get it, most of them wear these rather gaudy, yet totally ewish watches, and you think you'd just spend the damn 4,000 and get the watch, is it really that big of a deal? No, they don't, but they buy the benz. What, is it like they think it's Seattle weather so they'll wear long sleeve shirts and don't have to show their watches, while everyone sees them driving at least a benz? I just don't get it...

My Bitching results to nothing besides the fact that I know how to articulate myself to words, not actions.

I always talk about how my life sucks and my personal woes right. Well, imagine a girl, she wanted to go to this college so badly that it was basically her goal, it didn't seem that horrible of a goal because it definitely seemed attainably. She has fame sorta, and she totally had friends too. She led a pretty good life with a nice sister that was totally bratty. Everything seemed great, she had everything, the nose she wanted, the cell phone, the car whenever right. Well, they say senior year is the most memorable or the best, whatever you wanna put it. Let me recap her senior year, she had to cut her hair short for a play which makes her look totally tom-boyish even though she's totally skinny- i.e. making it worst and also makes her all kiddie like, she doesn' t have any classes with anyone so her friend is basically her sister, she didn't get into her college, she lost her car due to her grades falling, she decided to take hard classes and had more stuff to due, which resulted in alienating herself from everyone, no one really cares about her in the old group of friends-doesn't care as in means of seeking her out, no one ever invites her to do things anymore, she's often excluded out of things simply because of space, no one bends over backwards for her... That's her life in a nutshell on the outside. Isn' t it quite sad, while I bitch and moan over my gripes, if I had this girl's life, i'd be totally over, devasted. There's nothing wrong with her too, she's like me, but less talkative, totally more skinny, and well she's totally none organizational among other things and less sporty, but she's not hard to get along with. It's girls like her that make me feel better.

Goddess_333