No. 18

I was just reviewing the guestbook one more time. At the bottom, the "unknown" says that I shouldn't write things like that and I may feel ridiculed and I need to get past prejudice. I am past prejudice, but for some reason, I always encounter it. For some reason, I know that when I walk into a store, people won't look at me because they seem to think that asians don't have the money to buy things. For all my life, i've been put into normal classes because they thought that I could never succeed an excellerated classes and i've always been overlooked when I always seem to make the honor roll all four years of high school and I have a gp of 3.7 while I take a full load(tell me why no one asks me to take excellerated classes?). For all my life, i've been told that I'll never be good enough. For all my life, i've been told that no matter what I do, it won't make a difference because i don't have a voice, for all my life, people always have assumed my parents have been thought of as working in restaurants, for all my life, i've been thought as being poor because I like a good bargain, for all my life, i've been overlooked because my last name comes at the end of the alphabet instead of the beginning, for all my live, i've never said anything that no one else wanted to listen to because I never wanted to hurt their feelings, for all my life, i've tried to make people's lives easier, for all my life, i've done what society says right because I need the approval even knowing I will not get it, for all my life, my parents have been told that they can't save the amount of money because of the job they do not assuming what they are worth, for all my life, i've been treated badly until my mom comes with me in her designer bag, for all my life, I haven't been given a chance because i'm fat, for all my life, i've never been normal because of what has happened in the past of not my life, but the world's life, and I will never be treated as what the person in the guestbook says should happen to get rid of prejudice, I don't know if I accept it yet, but it seems like I cut too much slack for people who kick me to the ground, it seems to me that this journal has been great to get my feelings across and maybe I was thinking that this journal could some how be some sort of tool that people would use to view life or to see how some people view it negatively or positively. For all my life, I know that the environment will be ruined just like the symbols of America, then we will try to repair and avenge what has happened and make precautions. Please tell me this, just write an e-mail to me or whatnot if it is especially bad, please don't put it in the guestbook, tell me either if the journal is too abrasive or it's ok. I thought it would be fine, because if you as the reader don't like what you are reading, then just stop reading, because no one is telling you to go on and read it. I thought this would be really nice for me to get out my feelings because I know I can't say it to anyone else ever in my life and if you say that this blog is horrible in the terms of that, I will stop writing and take all my thoughts too my grave because I will never write it on paper.

Goddess_333