Hi everyone, i'm a dirty pig and I live in a pig farm...
Hi everyone (waves at an anonymous meeting for --), i'm a dirty pig and I live in a pig farm.
Yup , you all guessed it, i'm not an old moneyed WASPY city girl, no I really live on the farm surrounded with pigs...
No, strike that, that's wrong too, what I am referring to as well as many people probably have this problem, it's just not as horrible as mine, is the lack of closet space. That is what I say, after having two double doors that open up to reveal the smallness of my closet, it takes me 2 hours to organize my jeans alone, I finally give up. I HAVE NEVER GIVEN UP, especially at something so trivial, organizing a closet...yes, now a days, I am thinking it is WAY EASIER TO JUST MOVE, or change my bedroom into a giant closet and just sleep on a chaise lounge. Seriously, I am having the hardest time. Clothes are now everywhere, some are still in bags with tags on, some are on the ottoman, and a whole heap of them are on two chairs where it now makes it impossible to sit down, only my bed and half the floor have been rendered clothes free. I don't know how it got this way, I really don't, I mean, sure the great deals, the once in a while splurges, I don't know what to say, and No, I am not that American who didn't save a penny, in fact, I probably saved a few thousand pennies mind you, so it's not like I spend all my time like some JAP at Bergdorfs, although I really don't get the whole charm of it, just like H&M. Anyways, back to the closet, it's like I have things where, "when I go to Russia, I will have th perfect fur cap to wear in the winter time while drinking vodka and --- restaurant" or like "when I go tanning in Hawaii again, I can use this J.Lo-esque hate to shield me from the blazing sun" or like, "oh I remember these shoes I wore that one time that was so memorable even though they hurt my feet and gave me a blister" aka I am still keeping all this shit. Yes, I don't know what is wrong, I don't get it, it's like I hoard. A LOT, when I mean A LOT, not your average person a lot, like i've been known to buy two of some things because I love them so much, wait, 3 of everything and like keep it just in case that it goes out of stock and they discontinue it. Yes, I am psycho and I think I need help. I always watch those What Not To Wear shows, I wish someone could just rip me to shreds and be like, "those pants do nothing for you" and i'm quip back, "but I bought them on the trip to Caramel where I strolled through Neiman's after hours and they were so nice..." and they'll say, "you can stroll anytime, just not with those pants" as they chuck it into the bin. Yea, only if I have self-control-as I do not because once I get something in my head, I have to have it, I need it, I"ll be thinking about it none-stop, although this does not go so far as men. I don't know why, maybe men should be like my new vice, instead of clothes, it should be going after hot men-although I mean, come on, there's too much too lose and like too much work, the most work with shopping is you got ot have it, you might have to call for them to hold it, and like hand over your credit card so you can pay, the only shock like men is getting dumped, dumped every month when your bill comes, jesus, I don't like to look at my bill, it's never a pretty sight and I always think someone used free reign with it, that person wasn't a theft, that person was me, a hoarder on so many levels...and no, there is not therapy because I can't justify handing over cash to talk about my feelings, especially when that person will just say, "why do you hoarde" or "stop hoarding" and that won't be a good enough answer, isntead, I turn to you blogger, my friend, my foe, my frenemie...
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