I'm freaking out on the inside

Ok, i'm blogging so much, don't know why, perhaps because I feel like I have the time or am "priortizing" this...

Ok, so all of a sudden i'm getting strangely freaked out by homeless people, "thugs," and "crazy" people in general. There are quite a few in the University area where I go to school. I wonder if Stanford has this problem? Anyways, so first incident, I grab a slice of pizza and I try to eat it quickly in the restaurant before catching my bus. Two bites in, this "crazy" homeless or really dirty man who hasn't washed or combed his hair comes in from a door that leds to the restroom...I don't know how he got there, because the restroom is for customers only, but I mean, it's shared between two restaurants (common area between) and then he just stands there, mumbles to himself for a cool 5 minutes or so, by then i'm really freaked out because i'm like "what does this dude want," so anyways, I nonchalant pick up my things and leave, as I turn around, he sits at a seat in the back of the restaurant a table away from where I was sitting and counts his change. The paranoia sunk in because the lady who runs the place is old and didn' notice him come in, the boy who works there who seems tough wasn't up front, he is standing in front of my table for like a good 5 minutes and doesn't move but mumbles to himself, I mean, eh's clearly close to me, because if he was on the other side of the restaurant, i'd be fine, but since he's in such close proximity to me, i'm easily freaked out.

Second incident, today, as this large group of like 5 guys-not large, but they are big guys who are wearing the ghetto wear as many of them appreciate-big puffy jacket, large burly men, one even holding what appears to be a drink conciled inside a paper bag (alcohol?). These 5-6 guys or whatever, just a group, hog the sidewalk and are walking up to the bus stop. They're joking around or "jonesin'" and being really loud, they do a little dance, just random stuff, but one of the dudes knows this white guy...ok, must be a normal sign as white guy is very MOD and short and scrawny, but I just got really scared, and then one of the guys tries to scam on a girl wearing stiletto heels and the girl isn't having it. Not that they would scam on me, but it just made me really uncomfortable because they were really rambuctious, so freak out, the girl leaves on the next bus has the boys holla to her that "girl is fine" and "girl got..." blah blah blah, then I get see my bus-so excited, after 5 minutes and they just hung out at the bus stop but didn't get on a bus because then they jay-walked across the street to the other bus stop. Jesus man, seriously, I mean, normally I don't get freaked out but lately I don't know what is up.

Another incident, i'm on the bus, sitting on the side seats because I have ot get off really early. Then this guy who appears normal gets on. We're about to turn, he's not holding onto anything, lands on top of a guy and the rail, says, "oh sorry man, thank god the rail caught me" and he sounded totally normal. We hit traffic on the bridge, and this guy who is standing who appears normal is psycho, sorry, "crazy" because he starts tlaking to himself and using profane language. He's standing next to me, i'm just freaking out and like what am I going to do when I have to get up and leave my seat because I don't want to touch him and what if he doesn't move? He's like also shifting his weight from side to side like he's "blocking" an imaginary person...freaky, so yea, really paranoid and other people are staring at him, and i'm secretly thinking-don't stare, I think i tmakes it worse because then they might like do something that isn't normal or might erupt because you are staring at them...

Another incident, while on the bus, the bus goes to this bus stop, and stops, and this lady passes by on the sidewalk and is yelling at everyone and using profane language. A guy who was at that bus stop says that the women really has problems and like yelled at everyone while using such vulgar language. That would freak the hell out of me, like it would seriously make me want to take another bus and go back into the building because you're at a situation where that person won't exit and it's up to you.

Ok, so call me sheltered or call me a scaredy cat or like whatever, but seriously, it really freaks me out because I don't want to be victim to what these people deem as something that they couldn't tolerate...really freaks me out man, and why are there such crazies around and why do they beg for change at a public institution versus a private one?