No. 85

I think I orgasmed in Costco?

I went to Costco for the first time in buddha knows how long. It was quite a exhilirating experience. I bought a few books, and a couple of cds. For the cds, I have to say Faith Evans CD isn't really that bad. I kept hearing Creed and it was only 12 bucks, but now I'm having a second thought. They're great, but it's a tad hardcore, I guess I'll have to save it for my anger agressive depressive stages in my life. I also got a magazine, well a few. Really surprised that they had them, and they were 25% off, which even added to my joy. I like Costco a lot, it's rather quite joyous. The Creed cd, I don't like the first 1-4 including the 8 minute song, but definitely like the 6-11. Also went to Half Price Books. Man, they have a lot of books, I had to get two for school, Pride and Prejudice and Ismhael. I think i'm good on books. One thing that gets me is that they never have the Sex in the City book, they have Four Blondes, but not Sex in the City. Oh Well. I also picked up a mini pocket guide book of Hawaii, it was I think 1.98, I couldn't resist. Damn the marketing techniques.

My Weight...

I guess I have these really distorted views about how fat I am. Apparently I'm not that fat. It's quite odd, because I totally think I am, yet I know i'm in shape then most people. For example Miss Jewish Princess of Medina's buddy whose majorly overweight too huffed up and down the stairs when she went to go get a bagel. I found it quite miserable and yet she was still eating carbs. I on the other hand, made it up really well, also I find that my walk up the stairs from the damn parking lot has been quite easily attained. Apparently I guess I can't do my math because I was thinking I need to lose a good 30 pounds, but apparently i'm ont 15 pounds overweight. At least it gives me a new light right and I don't feel so damn bad when I just ate this grape, since I make it fact not to eat any snacks and just drink water. I'm a water hog now, I think I drink up to 11 glasses of fluids. I have to say, I don't like to do it, but afterwards, it makes you feel happier. Also, I'm an "Hourglass" body type if you want to call it that. They were so right about everything, it's unparallel. Apparently my body type is like the sturdy one that is never gonna look like Britney's. Well, I knew that a long time ago, also I realized that I have huge calf muscles. I've stopped using machines to do my reps for the calf raises and just do 25 a day without weights, just to keep them up. I also did arm machine things, and man do my arms hurt. I decided to do 50 pounds instead of my usual 30, and I usually do about 3 reps of 25, well this time, let's say i'm definitely hurting, not in a good way. When you're thighs and saddlebag areas hurt, it's totally cool, becuse you can stretch, but with arms, it just makes you tired. Also, the tests say that I have bad body images and must watch out due to this can be leading to eating disorders and stuff, well if i'm onto it, how can I "watch out." Sometimes, these people... I'm glad i'm not that overweight, i'll probably get down to minus 20 pounds instead of 15. I feel better though, at least I know I don't have to lose 50 pounds because I think I can't do it when July comes. I know this for a fact, it's not willpower and all this shit like some people say. Also, I realize that I bitch about something that is so trivial. I can control it, it just takes a lot of work, while if I was short or overly tall, how could I ever control that? Also, I know these two girls that were fat and now they're skinny. Well, they have a big-boned body type, so even though they're extremely skinny, it still makes them look fat, even with the right clothes, also, it makes their faces look horrible because there's no fat on it so everything is stretched and sudden in. Definitely not it, I mean I dont' want to be stick skinny, because i think that'd probably be for me, around 125 and I really don't need to compete with other people for clothes, it's damn annoying, I realized that the smaller sizes are always gone on sale racks.

Obsessive Compulsive...

I asked some of my friends if I was really obsessive compulsive, and they say yes. TANGENT: So I know this guy is going to Stanford right, the ultimate college, well I don't understand how he gets in. I mean he's smart, but he's not smart enough, reason being is that he can't spell intellectual. He spells intillectual, his spell checker must be his best friend. I don't understand, i'm not that smart, but i'm totally applying myself and a hard worker, yet I get jacked from everything I ever wanted. It's so odd, while people who screw up yet are naturally smart, get to go to Stanford. One may ask if they have alumni and all, well I have alumni either, I know I can't cut it, and I don't understand what they'll do. They're partyers too, so it's not like they're gonna be diligent. UW still hasn't said anything, i'm POD. It sucks, I just want to go there, but i'm not freaking out because the people who said they were going, haven't received packets yet, so it's not like they're getting first everything, so I think i'm still ok for now.

My Birthday

Miss Jewish Princess of Medina brought that up again. Everyone was totally ranking on her, quite amusing. Anyways, she reminded me of my day, Thursday, I thought it was Wednesday, this is me not wanting to realize i'm getting older. One may say, why wouldn't you want to be old, and "wait until you're 80, that'll show you old...yada yada yada." I don't wanna hear about it. She's secretly afraid that I'll have a party when she's gone and she'll have no human interaction with me. Well, she didn't get me a gift, so I don't see how that matters. Also, Miss Anime Virg Freak had a b-day in late January, still haven't had a party. It pisses me off, she's just a shaker, but never a mover. She said she was going to have a party, no; she said she was going to the Cheesecake Factory for her b-day, no; she said she might go to Hawaii during some break or whatever, no. That just pisses me off, I hate how people say that.

Snowboarding or lack of limps...

I've decided i'm not going boarding, one because I'll just go once and never do it again and fall every which way and kill myself. Also, the people going, I totally don't trust they're driving skills nor do I want to sue them if I end up paralyzed. It's risky and i'm protecting myself, considering the fact that everyone is pretty novice. I'd love to chill with the girls 'n da cut, but i'm not going to. I'll do that on my own b-day @ Cheesecake Factory. Tangent: I think the ab machine works, there's this ab crunch thing at the gym where you can add weights, I do my crunches, 50 of them on 70 pound weights, it definitely gives me the burn, I like that feeling. Yes, I love to inflict pain on myself, good pain that prospers though.

I just realized what the Plateau people are like.

I realize that they're these people who think they're too good enough for Redmond, so they choose to live in the Plateau and drive to Microsoft in they're suave cars, whatever they may be. I realize that they think they're better than anyone and everyone else. I realize they're bad drivers who need to go home to pee. I realize that many of them think they're almighty because they work for the richest man on earth. I realize that many of these people lack the conversational skills to ever make it in situations properly. I realize that many of these people live on different levels that will no way compete with mine ever in my whole entire life. Also, I realize that all the hoodlums that live there are resemble the Seattle/Punk/Grunge/Suburburban teen, it makes me cringe... I think it's whole cocky they look. Tangent: Going to Piano lesson, check out BMW X5 on my right, some old folk all that and a bag of chips has window rolled down thinking he's rather manly while wearing patent leather brown gloves. What more do you want me to spell out, it speaks for itself, and it's not some "fly guy."

Goddess_333