No. 145

Ok, bitching yet over yet joyous yet totally annoyed at the same time.

I know, I often feel mixed all the time. So, about the whole Osbournes thing, yea also concluding the not able to watch since I fell asleep, I asleep in a weird position so i'd have to get up, bad idea, my neck hurts horrendously now. Simply horrid. Second, I found a dress, yes I found a dress. I saw it, it wasn't really like an aura, but I found it. It's for prom, but it's so nice, it's not like those gumdrop things that all the ya-yas' wear so everyone looks a like and you'll never be able to wear the damn thing again, this is a nice dress, it's navy and blue, it's a basic baby blue/aqua underneath in jersey with a navy chiffon/see throughish type of deal that is also embroidered with black beading in a flower motif. It's very simply with the lines, classic neck, it's trendy with the beading, makes it nice that way, but yet simply to go out to a nice dinner, but totally acceptable for the prom, yet isn't trashy like the reproductions they try to through of the material similar to that- you know the dresses with too much embroidery and often knee length in red. Nothing like that though, one thing, it's jersey and i'm not Kate Moss. This requires what from me, a really nice bra, bustier whatever minimizer, some nice shoes, a shawl or as I would like to call them "blankets" because it is sleeveless and not to mention stress on my psyche. Seriously, I'm really thinking about getting pills, not like that dietrim or whatever or metabolife, but i'm more on the lines of something herbal? Advisable or not? Obviously not, but i'm desperate, I figure that I'll lose all the weight, then it'll give me enough boost to actually keep it off. I haven't checked anything out, but I think I better look on the web. Anyways, also bitching about how I head drunken about 13 glasses of fluids. Ok, I had eaten about three bowls of soup, which may have caused the sodium inbalance and that's the reason why I was drinking tons of liquids. As I was going to bed, I was proud of drinking all those liquids, but then my mom was like, are you sure, because diabetics drink a lot of liquids, so that's when I freaked out, after all my mother is diabetic you see, so there is cause for concern, but when I don't eat or i'm hungry, I don't feel like i'm about to pass out, so that calmed my nerves. THANK BUDDHA. Yes, but I found a dress for prom, now i'm looking for a graduation dress. I'm excited, so i'm either going for that whole Roxy pattern of Hwaiian landscape or either i'm going for the "Legally Blonde," but not pink and going towards more floral, but definitely flowy. Also I realized that all dresses are tube dresses, what happened to straps? I don't understand, why doesn't anything come with straps?

Anyways, i'm going to watch the Osbournes on 10:30 tonight because it's airing again. I hope I don't miss it. Please pray for me.