No. 47

Ok, I can't sleep. It's 10:37 PM, I usually go to bed around 9:30, well I go to bed at exactly that time unless weekends. This really bothers me. First off, I don't talk about this girl, her name is Alison and I simply, well I'm not too fond of her. Jen tells me that she's been accepted to UW. My first thing is, it can't be her, this is the girl that has a worst GPA than I do, she doesn't do anything for the school besides Link Crew while she still hates the freshmen and she gets in first. Lauren who was the one that postmarked it on November 1 and Ed, this dude from math all discuss these things. I know that they are both super smart, but my GPA is even higher, so I knew I'd get in before Lauren. I just don't understand, I think she'll totally calling it because she said she got it on Sunday, u don't get mail on Sunday. They mail stuff on Thursday or Friday, so you normally find out on Monday or Tuesday. ALso, you get a packet not some dingy letter. I'm just thouroughly miffed because she probably only got in because both her parents went there. I'm glad she got it, yet I let it get to me. She's not that bright and this may help her in the future because she is less fortunate than I am, so I'm hoping she'll take advantage and make something of her life and not marry someone who doesn't work, so you have to feed a family of three. That's the stupidest thing i've ever heard of. A husband not working because he doesn't like what he does. Well, I'd be like get your ass up and going because we get a divorce. Totally miffed about this whole situation, nor did she tell me herself. She also wanted to throw a party, this coming from a girl that has never partied nor drank before. I don't think she's ever touched anything besides a sip of beer. WTF is wrong with her? Seriously, she just tries to be cool, she's no way in competition of me, because I mean I'll be at the dorms, she won't. She'll be antisocial. The only thing I worry about, is that throughout her life, she'll still not be able to think for herself, she'll get mothered, and she'll be sheltered and a proscinator still. It really saddens me.

Another thing I have noticed is that at the gym these various people keep taking up my machine. There's no sign that says it's my machine, but i've been on it for a good length of time. It seems everyone wants to do their exercisd resolution. So, I was forced to go on the back wall overlooking the court yard of Bellevue Place. I was looking at the valets, seemingly because they're in their twenties. It dawned on me that I'd never date them. I mean, that's probably why I don't have boyfriends, but who'd want to date a valet? Seriously, what's the pickup line, "can I park YOUR car?" I see this valet because they all wear the same thing, sprint to the garage, than drive the precious car at around 30 miles per hour when the speed limit is 5 up the ramp, than out to the street, roll down the windows with his sunglasses on acting like he owns the damn thing, than when he rounds the corner, he rolls the window up and goes, places it in park, and let's the lady in while she's probably tipping him a five. I can't believe these dudes, is that what they live for. That 100 feet of being cold in some S500 acting fly while very well anyone with eyes knows it's not their car.

Another pet peeve, so I just realized that I had left a very valuable stack of papers in Yearbook. I left my Robinson stuff, both papers too, and I left my release form for 5th on Friday. I'm such an ass. I can't believe it, probably because I had to come in and than I rushed out and totally forgot about it. I hate this shit. I'm still totally miffed about the whole ALison thing, she's so weird. Speaking of friends, I realized Courtny this girl who hangs out with us thinks she's our friend, but she always comes and goes. She hangs out with her sister a lot. It's weird, because all of a sudden she'll hang with us, and then the next she's not there.

I saw cribs a while back, just wanted to say that Mariah has a hella nice apartment and who wouldn't kill for her closets. Seriously? Even a guy would be envious, and we're talking both pineapple or just pining.

Ok, another thing that totally freaked me out was that my friend, Jen reads my diary. I knew it would come to something like this, but I never thought it would be her. This coming from a girl who doesn't know how to work ICQ. So, she's basically known what I have been saying to her. At first I was dwindling and maybe I shouldn't have said those things for fear it might hurt someone's feelings. Than I realized that I was writing in this thing because it's all the things I don't say outloud. It's everything I keep to myself and one day would have published, time giving right and extensive editing of spelling, grammar and all that fun stuff. I realized that I'm not going to hold back. I'll probably put a disclaimer on though, just to be nice. I'm not going to stop, all my rants and raves have been of what I thought during that second of time while I was writing it. My thoughts can totally change. Just like right now, i'm ok with not watching Princess Diaries. I've realized that society has influenced me so much that I get freaked out when I know I haven't pleased someone. I know i'll still live my life that way, but maybe on the internet, I'll actually say what I mean. Also, a disclaimer: for all those who know me and read this thing, don't tell me you read it, don't write in my guestbook, just take my knowledge, do what you like with it, and move on. Is it that really hard, it's hard for me because I always dwell on everything.

Goddess_333