Ok, I believe this is fate. When I was in SF, I said to myself, "do I see myself being twenty something and still having this blog..." Maybe it's time for me to retire? I don't want to, but I guess the world doesn't need me, it doesn't need my comments, and whatever I cease to be perceived as will never occur, because i'm only building an image and that image is not what I am, but is who I want to be, something unattainable, something so lost and i've realized in these two years that will never be attained, neither I, nor my family, nor my future to take forth will ever attain what I have envisioned. Falling, you always fall fast and without knowing it until you hit the ground...it's a pity I believe. (Oh, read the disclaimer for who don't know.) Oh and I can't take it, I don't know what, but i'm not good on crtictism, remembering my very first one from a lady who said my views were totally wrong and all her opinions. I guess the reason I did this, was to feel like I was part of the world, but then i'm stupid and why am I airing out my dirty laundry for everyone. Sure, it's reality and those reality shows that i'm so addicted to. I don't get it, I shy away from fame and praise, but for some reaosn, I feel the internet would make me recognizable, it has, in a horrid way, or not so horrid, I mean, I guess I truly came out to do what I did. To let people know about "my views." I want to share my thoughts, but I know I shouldn't, and i'm not going to write a blog about how I got up at 10 and watched tv then read and then ate cole slaw. I don't know, i'm mixed up, I think when people say their teenage years during high school are full of angst and crap, I think it hit me, besides the fact i'm going to college...so sad.