No. 70

"Im like no one you've ever met, and you will never meet anyone like me."

This is so true! I just realized that maybe in my life I'll be unable to find anyone as that "companion." My reasons for this, I don't entirely get along with white people, I don't entirely get along with Chinese people, I'm extremely fickle, I know that there is no one like me out there, or at least, they're like one in every city maximum. The reason being for the last one is that through 17 almost 18 years of my life, i've encountered no one that is like me. Yes, Dawn is very similar, but through our thinking, nothing is a parallel. The reason why I was thinking about this is because of Happy Helen. God, you'd think she's ok, I mean the only bad thing is she's on E all the time, naturally not, but you get my whole stinct about that. What if I go through life without anyone. I took that quiz, and it even said that I won't marry anyone. I also realized if I do go out with someone or marry someone, that person will truly have to be revolutionary in terms that all these things I say in my diary, I'll never say outloud, not even to that "special someone." I mean, I just couldn't and if I did, that person did a hellva job "bringing me out" or what have you. I guess that only reason why I won't to have that special someone is it's just expected, I mean, everyone just assumes. It's quite odd, and what if I either live with some male gold digger, or some freak whose just like me and we're both possessive and we can't part with any belongings and we have a dysfunctional relationship inside, but when we go out, we're like the perfect married couple and we refuse to get divorced for fear it would tarnish ourselves? OH GOD, i'm so weird, what am I gonna do.

My dad had a heartattack, then my mom proceeded to have one too. They were talking about dinner. My dad got invited to dinner and my mom wanted to know if I was invited too. Well, this stemmed into a whole lunch heartattack proceeded by tea and a hearattack until my dad went out of the living room and told my mom not to speak of the matter again. I find it quite funny, both of them are old and freak out about if they invited me along or not and should we ask and all this yada yada yada. Whatever. I proceeded to live in the computer room, why you might as, i've feeling serenally calm and I really don't want to affect my zen like quality that I am achieving today.

Good Riddens

Goddess_333