No. 35

So, today I was talking to some of my friends. First of all, I had asked my friend Jen if she wanted to go to Hawaii so we could have an even number of people to go, making rooms and all that good stuff easier. Second, she was like my parents said no, but I could bug them and they'd probably say yes. Then she's like, I kind of would like to save money you know because she isn't going to college, and she's going to move out. She's going to go to community college. I'm totally fine with that, but why couldn't she just say, "no I don't want go to go Hawaii" in the first place. I don't get why people jsut can't say what they feel, seriously it would save a whole bunch of trouble. So, since she made me wait for 4 or so days for her answer of two letters, I have to go find someone else. Secondly, she still thinks she's going to be friends with me and we're gonna still hang out. Ok, this whole senior year, she has not called me to just "talk," she talks, but to her boyfriend named Ken that's before they broke up. Now, she doesn't talk to him because he got himself a new girlfriend and now she is "online dating" this dude named Mike from Michigan or whatever. God, this girl can't have a friend that is a boy, seriously all the men she had come across have been her boyfriend or soon to be in some way except one, his name is Kyle. He's the boy who has man boobs therefore making him, well you guessed it, not actually too GQish. It's so sick to watch her, I mean she is dependent on men, I mean hey it's great to have a boyfriend, but she doesn't talk to anyone online, but him. I mean i'm not a total feminist, but I'm just saying do you think this girl has a chance to have a friend that is a boy friend. Kyle on the other hand isn't truly friend friends, he uses her for a ride, she likes the company because she can't stand being alone. Also, so she thinks we're still going to be friends when she doesn't call me, we only talk during lunch and to class? WTF? Seriously, I mean does she not get that when I go to college, most of my friends are forever gone, I'm never going to see them again, which includes her, even though she lives a block away from me. Sometimes I feel so alone, I mean I know others are like me too, but it seems no one in the Washington State area. It doesn't suck because I like being a homebody and chillin' and stuff, but I miss going to high school parties, I admit, i've never been to one unlike my friends in ML, and for here, I'd wish I could have a friend that would chill with me at Starbucks and just go to the mall. I don't quite understand, all the friends I have are totally not in my leaque, sometimes I wonder why I like them, I mean I like them because I get alone with them, but that's it. We share totally different shopping methods and enjoy different things. It's so weird, it's the same way with ML as well. I mean the only person that is totally n'sync with me is Dawn, my cousin, but she's kinda loco koko sometimes. She's canadian, let's just put it that way. I mean, is this fate that is telling me I have to be solitary for my future or what? I don't quite understand, I mean I kinda understand the whole party thing because in ML there isn't anything to do, in Bellevue, there is so there are less parties, which means the parties are only for the weekenders. The whole friend thing I really wished upon, but it's not happening, I guess I was destined to be a sole shopper. I don't think i'll ever name my kids Jen though. The reason being is that the Jens' I know, I don't wish their personality upon my children. Yes, I have this theory that the name you give your child reflects his or her personality. Take all the Ashleys' you know or all the Matts, what is in common with them, there are some similiarities you know.

Goddess_333